Body Image
I have CNN in my RSS reader (NetNewsWire if you’re wondering) and I saw a story pop up about breastfeeding. Since Elaine feeds Monkey when she’s home and pumps while she’s at work so I can feed him during the day, we’re obviously big advocates of breastfeeding. In fact, we both feel that it’s almost criminal to not breastfeed if you can (we were just talking day about how we feel that formula should be on a prescription-basis). Anyway, the article is pretty short, so read it yourself then come back.
All done? Good.
Hopefully, you’re as upset by this as we are. First off, it’s not even a picture of a breast. It’s a picture of the side-swell of a breast, with no body attached and no nipple or areola showing. How is that at all pornographic or sexual? I mean, yeah, if you’re 9-years-old it might be a little exciting, but if you’re a parent, you should be above that.
Secondly, I (and Elaine too) don’t think the problem is where these complainers are saying it is. It’s not with the husbands or the sons or the strangers in a restaurant. It’s with the moms. They seem to have this screwed up body image where they feel like they’re sitting around nude in public being sexual when they’re feeding their child. Maybe it’s something with American values, how we find Victoria’s Secret’s yearly lingerie parade to be good clean entertainment, but we fine CBS some $500,000 for showing a two-second shot of Janet Jackson’s obscured breast and nipple. Somehow we have developed a problem with nature’s perfect feeding system.
Now, I admit, Elaine and I are a bit more crunchy granola than a lot of people out there. We don’t ever really take Monkey out into public, so breastfeeding in public isn’t a common situation for us, but when we’ve done it, it hasn’t been a problem. Elaine has taken him out to the car to feed him, both for a bit more privacy and also for the ease. If we were in a restaurant or something, though, she’d have no problem feeding him in the open. If he needs to eat, he needs to eat, and it’s the only way he can.
Anyway, getting back to the body image, I have to wonder about the woman who said:
“Men are very visual[.] [...] When they see a woman’s breast, they see a breast—regardless of what it’s being used for.”
First off, she can’t really make the statement that she’s making; she’s not a man and so can’t say how men think. But let’s assume she can make that statement. Can she say that for all men? How about men in African and South American tribes where the women are nude or topless most of the time? Where women pass babies from one to another to feed so that the mother can work? Do they see breasts as purely sexual body parts? Or do they only see genitals as being sexual and breasts being part of a person’s life, the way they feed as babies and toddlers? I think it’s more of the second way, that they see the breasts as being the way to feed a baby and nothing more. I think most fathers of breastfed babies have the same thoughts (or can, once they learn to control themselves and their urges!).
Anyway, I don’t want to come off as a boob Nazi or something. I just think this society has some very screwed up morals and ideals when it comes to women’s bodies. Breastfeeding is a beautiful and natural part of a child’s life and it should be supported, not shot down by those who can’t keep their minds off of sex.
Comment [3] | Posted Jul 28, 04:58 AM
Month the Second
Sorry I missed the second month by a week or two, Monkey. Things have been hectic as always and I haven’t found time to write yet.
So this month, your big thing was fully discovering your hands. Those five-digited wonders have learned how to stick themselves in your mouth for you suck and lick, and how to bring Papa’s finger up there, too. Most of the time, that is. You occasionally try to suck it in through your nose.
You’ve also discovered your LeapFrog music stand. Your Mama and Papa like to buy things that’ll grow with you, and this changes from an on-the-back, lay-down-and-look-at-the-flashing-lights toy, to one you can sit up and look at, to one you can stand up and play like a piano sort of. Anyway, you’ve become fascinated with it, at least for a short amount of time each day. You’ll lay there and coo and smile at it until you grow tired of Bach and Satie and then we’ll whisk you away to something else.
You also had your first doctor’s visit this month. Some parents out there, reading this, are going to be shocked to know that this was the first time you’d been to an actual physician since your Mama got pregnant with you, but let ‘em. You are doing wonderfully well, officially now. You cried when they gave you your shots, which nearly broke your Mama’s heart, but you recovered fine, falling asleep in my arms after just a few minutes of tearful blubbering. Thankfully, the immunizations didn’t make you sick too badly. You ran a little fever and seemed to feel bad, but Tylenol and eating seemed to help you immensely.
This month may not seem like it had a lot of new stuff from you, Monkey, but you’ve changed in so many little ways, too. Ways that I can’t really express, but that your mother and I both see every day. You’re growing up, getting more responsive, more eager to burst into a smile and a laugh when we do anything entertaining. You’re also becoming easier to appease when you cry, usually wanting to be carried in a sitting position so you can suck on Papa’s finger. I hope I can always make you so happy.
Love, as always,
Papa
Comment | Posted Jul 10, 01:21 AM
Month The First
Today is the one-month anniversary (which’d be the wrong word since the “ann” comes from “annual”) of our baby coming into the world. I don’t really want to rip off Dooce, but I really like the idea of a monthly post to/about the baby.
Monkey, this first month has been hard for all three of us (four if you count the dog). Mommy and I have had to develop our parenting ears to hear when you cry or start to fuss. We’ve had to get used to regurgitated milk and poop and pee. (Really, those aren’t too bad, so that’s just the whining that all parents get to do.) The dog has had to adjust to her new place one slot lower on the totem pole. She’s been pretty good about it, but she stepped on you a few times in the beginning. I don’t think she meant anything by it, though.
You’ve had a hard first month, too, I guess. You were used to everything being immediate and perfect for you in the womb. Now you have to deal with being cold(er) and having to wait sometimes for your food. You’ve been struggling with going to sleep, and sleeping soundly, for the past couple of days. And we won’t even mention the horror that are diaper changes. I wish you could understand when Mommy and I tell you that everything is alright, we’re right there and we’d never let anything bad happen to you.
But the month hasn’t been all hard times. You’ve started smiling at us more and more, you laugh when you know you’re about to be fed, and you’ve shown some amazing strenght. You can hold your head up for several minutes at a time and throw your body around with it. You can push yourself forward quite a bit when on your tummy if Mommy or I give your feet something strong to kick off of. And you’re really interested in the Whoozit that you got from one of Mommy’s coworkers.
All-in-all it’s been a lot of fun and joy having you for the past month, the times that you’ve pooped on me and Mommy (once each so far, hers much worse than mine), not withstanding. All the frustration of you screaming and crying in our arms is wiped away the moment you smile at us for rubbing noses with you or rubbing your belly. There’s nothing else in the world like those smiles.
Love,
Papa (or Daddy or whatever you call me)
Comment | Posted May 29, 01:44 AM
Baby feet
Here I am to finally announce the newest member of the Love household. Our baby was born a couple of weeks ago, safe and healthy in our bed. We have a beautiful baby boy who will be named Monkey on this site (and all others) until he’s older.
Everyone is doing fine, Mom and Dad included. The grandparents could hardly leave when they had to, but I’m sure they’ll all be back ASAP. I know we could have never made it through those first several days without them and their help.
I can already find myself becoming a dad, though. Learning to do everything one-handed, sometimes without even the attached arm. Poop and pee and spit are cute. Well, maybe not the first two. And a two-hour nap is a gift straight from (the) God(s).
I already have a few stories to tell, I guess, but I’ll keep them for another time.
Comment [1] | Posted May 15, 01:23 AM
Comfortable Seating
Man, that was a bit of a chore. But I know I’m not the first dad (or dad-to-be) that’s go through it.
I’ve always been the kinda guy that likes to play with gadgets. I used to build G.I. Joe vehicles without ever reading the instructions—I’d rely on the box illustration and the hope that the pieces only fit together one way. It always seemed to work out.
I can’t say that I take such a lackadaisical approach to Monkey’s safety, though. In fact, I read two manuals, one of them twice, and still had to fiddle with the car seat for a good half hour before I was satisfied it was in right.
That’s right, car seat. We finally got it this past week. A Safety 1st Alpha Omega Elite car seat, one that’ll convert to take the kid from five pounds to 100. We’re definitely firm believers in multi-purpose items. I can’t say that I understand why anyone would want to buy two or even three car seats when they can buy just one. But, to each his own, I suppose.
Anyway, getting it into the Forester was a chore. The thing just might be a smidge too big for the seat…unless you feel like having your knees in your chest cavity when you ride in the passenger seat. The Forester, though, has the LATCH system, so we know the seat’ll be as secure as possible in the car. Our other car has car seat anchors, but I don’t think they’re LATCHs.
So, half an hour spend wrestling with a 20 lb. hunk of plastic and cloth, threading LATCH straps through tiny plastic holes, pulling straps as tight as I can, and trying to read a terse manual that’s more illustration and page design than explanation. But now I have a secure baby bucket.
All I’m missing is the baby!
Comment | Posted Mar 26, 04:43 AM
Christmas 2005
Our Christmas holiday was only four days long, so there was a lot of driving involved. Thursday night we drove to Elaine’s mother’s house and spent the night, then we drove to my parent’s house on Friday. Elaine’s mom’s is about 2.5 – 3 hours away from here, and my parent’s is a further 3 – 4 hours from there. So, yeah, we were in the car a lot.
At my parent’s we went by my grandmothers to see her. They had recently painted her kitchen a bright, almost fluourescent green. We really liked it, actually. Made the room a lot more cheerful and pleasant.
After that we went back to my parent’s house for presents and to visit other family that lives next door. I grew up less than fifty yards from one of my mother’s sisters and her husband and children, and one of her children still lives just a bit further away on the same property. This is, obviously, one of the reasons my parents haven’t ever moved away from there, even though they’re further from town and us than they’d like to be.
Christmas was good; Elaine and I both got things we had wanted. We gave my mother a book that’s supposed to be from a grandmother to her grandchild, which she was happy about getting. She’s very exicted about Monkey. Also, the book will keep her occupied for years, since a lot of the sections can’t be filled out until the grandchild is a few years old.
Saturday afternoon saw us driving back up to Tulsa to Elaine’s mom’s house. It was kind of sad to only get to spend one night with my parent’s, but we really ended up spending about 2 days and one night with each set, since Elaine’s mom was working all of the weekdays and only had the weekend off. John and I played some video games while her mom finished cooking a turkey and then we all had some Christmas dinner.
Christmas morning saw all of us sleeping in until eleven or so, then we had a nice big breakfast and got down to opening gifts. Again, Elaine and I lucked out and got some stuff we really wanted. The three kids (me, Elaine, and John) split the cost of getting their mom a new computer (tower only), so she was very pleasantly surprised. Her old one was so slow that you had to wait two or three minutes for a web browser to open. So, yeah, definitely an upgrade.
Monday was another day of driving, after we left her house in the afternoon. We finally got home and got straight into bed (well, as straight as possible). Finnegan was very upset that he had been left alone for four days with only half rations of food, but that’s too bad. He’s just a cat, so his vote doesnt count for much. He’s back on full feedings, though, so I think he’s forgiven us, after some demanded affection.
So now the holidays find us waiting for New Year’s Eve, which we’ll probably spend inside watching a movie and falling asleep on the couch. We’re exciting that way.
| Posted Dec 28, 06:25 AM
Monkey
I know this site has been really dead lately, but there hasn’t been much going on in our lives that’s Internet-worthy. No real adventures other than the little trip we took back to Hot Springs for our anniversary, back to the same bed & breakfast that we went to on our honeymoon. We didn’t get to stay in the same room, but we actually upgraded to the suite. It was really nice, again, and we definitely want to go back someday. We didn’t get to do the hot baths this time, and I know I missed them. But there’s always a next time.
I’ve started having my sinus migraines again. They’re not as blindingly bad this time, but that’s not saying much. They still put me on the couch/in the bed for a good four hours, alternating between sleep and moaning. Sinus headache medicine, gallons of water, and a constantly-running humidifer seem to do little once one of them sets in. I make it through, though, so that’s all that matters.
Alright, I won’t keep you in suspense any longer. I know you’re wondering just what the heck that title means. Well, Elaine and I have a big announcement, for those who haven’t heard yet. In May April, she and I will take yet another step in our life together. We’re going to be parents.
We won’t know the sex or name of the child until it’s born, so we’re calling it Monkey for now. ‘Bruce Lee’ may have been a better name from the kickings that Elaine’s bladder has been receiving, though.
In fact, today is our first real meeting with the midwife (we met for a consultation before). We’re both excited, of course. We know that our lives are going to change and never go back to how they are now (or were before we found out), but we’re OK with that. I don’t know that I feel ready to be a parent yet, but I’m not scared of it, either.
Comment [4] | Posted Dec 15, 03:05 AM
Dog Park
Sorry guys, didn’t get any photos this time, but I’m sure I will when we go again.
Yesterday was the opening day of the new (and only) dog park in the area. It’s the Ryan Murphy Memorial Dog Park and I’m a bad visitor since I don’t know who Ryan Murphy is or why he has a dog park dedicated to him. We went to check it out yesterday afternoon with Poly.
It’s a really nice park. There are three areas: training, for dogs of all shapes and sizes; big, for those over 25 pounds; and small, for the wee ones like Poly. If you have a little dog and a big dog and want them to play together, you can take ‘em both in the big dog area or in the training area. We stayed in the small dog area for most of our time there, playing with Foster (a friend’s miniature dachshund) and Emmitt, another Italian Greyhound.
What’s that? Can’t believe there’s anther dog like Poly? Yeah, we were shocked and happy to see anther one. He’s mostly seal colored with white areas like Poly, so they looked like brother and sister. He was a bit bigger than her and his owner told us that he was a rescue. He had been abused for being too big to show. Poor little guy. He’s afraid of people and especially men, but he came right over to both Elaine and I just a few minutes after we got there. He must be getting better!
Anyway, we went and hung out for an hour or so, until Poly and we were tired and hot. She fell asleep on the way home from butt-sniffing exhaustion.
We’ll take her back as soon as we can.
Comment [1] | Posted Sep 5, 08:48 AM
Grimace!
We had a fun birthday dinner for Elaine at Hugo’s in Fayetteville. John, however, always has to ruin everything by making stupid faces!!! GRRRR!
Yeah, John knows we love him. His mom was sitting next to him. I bet she was thinking “your face is going to freeze like that!” That’s the kind of crazy stuff mom’s think, you know.
Anyway, great dinner, good food. Check the place out if you’re ever in this neck of the woods. It’s underground, so look down.
Comment [2] | Posted Aug 17, 05:42 AM
Poly in the Pillow
Yes, two Poly pictures in a row. She’s just so damn cute, though. Anyway, she always has to have a warm place to sleep, be it under a blanket or pillow or just curled up next to one of us.
Sometimes, though, we’re not where she wants to be and there’s not blanket available. Instead of getting under the pillow, she gets inside of it.
Problems don’t really arise until she tries to get out!
Comment | Posted Aug 8, 09:10 AM